How to survive a divorce and start a personal life from scratch?
To date, divorce, unfortunately, has become commonplace in society. Especially emotionally and sometimes quite painfully experienced by women, only a few at that moment feel truly happy. And the bitterness of separation can be understood, since over the years of living together there was a strong attachment to each other, even in difficult times of life. Therefore, stress in divorce is something that accompanies many. Here are a few steps that should help people, and especially women, survive a divorce and start their personal lives from scratch:
- Don’t forbid yourself to cry. Many people in the world think that the manifestation of real feelings and emotions is only the lot of only the weak, only an iron will and a strong character will make it possible to painlessly and quickly cope with all the difficulties and disappointments in life. But it doesn’t look like that at all, there’s no shame in crying, especially when you’re in a lot of pain and sometimes unbearably hurt. For many, a breakup is one such case. In a word, let yourself be in despair, and then return to a joyful and most importantly happy life;
- Do not rush to improve life. When the first super emotions subside a little, usually there comes some confusion and misunderstanding of how life goes on and what to do in the future. Moreover, thoughts will begin to come to mind to return to the old relationship. Therefore, you should stop, exhale deeply and affirm in yourself that life after a divorce does not end. Moreover, do not rush to a new relationship. You just need to carefully rethink everything and then you can build something new;
- Stop blaming yourself. It is worth remembering that in family life you will not be able to single-handedly control every situation and be responsible for the actions, thoughts or even actions of your soul mate. Therefore, you should not blame only yourself for the collapse of the relationship. Often, there are two parties to the culprit in a divorce and the reasons for this may be different;
- Discover the life around. It is worth remembering that life after the breakup of family relations does not end. In due time, the pain, disappointment, and perhaps some meaninglessness will go away, and life will be in rainbow colors. You will again want to do many things that were before the divorce and will begin to be in complete harmony from everything that surrounds you;
- Go ahead. It is advisable not to rush to create new family relationships if you have not yet fully departed from the old ones. There is no clear answer in this question, here you should, first of all, listen to your heart, which will 100% tell you when you will be ready for new connections and eventually have a happy life.
From this it all follows that life after a divorce does not end. The main thing is not to fall into despondency and depression and try to start everything with a clean face. It is worth being strong and it does not matter what pain is inside you!
What are the psychological consequences of divorce?
According to the research resource divorcescience.org after a divorce, one or another party, and maybe both, will have unpleasant psychological consequences. And the challenge will be how to deal with them so that they don’t cause further damage in life. Here are a few common psychological mechanisms:
- the level of trust in oneself is shaken and a person begins to doubt his capabilities;
- after a lost intimacy, many begin to tie up only superficial, not serious relationships;
- awareness of the value and significance of the partner lost after the divorce;
- the desire to move away from your partner as soon as possible after a divorce or vice versa;
- devaluing the importance of one’s former spouse and the relationship as a whole.
In fact, the psychological consequences may be greater. This or that partner should correctly overcome them, so as not to damage his future life and relationships as a whole.
How can you not harm your child in a divorce?
It’s no secret that children often experience their parents’ divorce quite a lot and think that they can help save their marriage and fix the situation as a whole. And if they don’t get it, then there are feelings of guilt and general loss. To avoid deep stress, parents should calmly explain to their children the reasons for the divorce, and also that after it the attitude towards them will not change at all and everything will be fine. At the same time, all children should hug, spend more time with him, communicate sometimes even on frank topics. The main thing is that at the same time he feels your sincerity and care.
At the same time, all parents should not complain to the child about each other and, accordingly, blame for what happened. Also, you do not need to show aggression one to one or close. In a word, it is necessary to try to ensure that the child suffers minimal emotional, moral, and spiritual damage during the divorce.